Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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