Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ttyl tear gas
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
