I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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