i was rollin on her like bob the builder
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
