I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize