Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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