I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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