If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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