if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
