Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize