finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize