how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
