The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
