And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
