I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
