OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
