Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
