His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
