Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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