the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
