So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
