Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
