i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well you can't waste a boner
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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