dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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