Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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