Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
FUCK WHALES
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
