beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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