I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
