We won't sleep together?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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