used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
did i just pee glitter
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
