i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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