Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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