Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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