Are we in a gay sports bar?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
