im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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