Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
