Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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