There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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