Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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