so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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