It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
