I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
