She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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