Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His nipple licking is glorious
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