So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
