if only i could text you this smell
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
