so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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