it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
