I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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