i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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