i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
