he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
