Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
