words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
