i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
