first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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