The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
