ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize