I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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