How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
