And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
