Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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