No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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